For gay men talking to other gay men online has never been easier. Through apps such ad Grindr, Scruff and hornet (just to name a few….and that really is the tip of the iceberg) a conversation with another gay guy is merely a click away. Because of this convenience and accessibility, the lines of what can be perceived as cheating have, for some people, become blurred, so much so that the question is often posed; is it actually cheating?
It’s a difficult one. I pose the scenario, for example, you have been talking to a guy on Grindr, it’s a bit flirty but you have no intention of sleeping with him. He might even send you photo but you won’t send one back. But like I said, you don’t plan on meeting up…so is it cheating?
I guess, one way to look at it would be how would you feel? Would you be fine if your partner were doing the same? But this has one crucial fault at the end of the day…your partner isn’t you! In fact they can be entirely different, opposite in every way. Just because you would be fine with them flirting wth others doesn’t mean it would be the same if the shoe were on the other foot.
Possibly, the only way to truly understand would be to ask your partner what they actually think. Find out from the horse’s mouth as it were. Then surely it couldn’t be misconstrued.
However, intent can also play a huge factor. If you do not intend to meet up or actually do/send anything than how does it differ from merely window shopping on Instagram, or checking a guy out in the street. Possibly, when you introduce the element of intent to go out of your way to do something, then maybe a line would be crossed.
All in all, relationships in general, with the rise of social media and apps aimed at casual encounters muddy the waters, making it extremely difficult to define was is and not OK.
Let us know what you think…
Where is the line?